Sitting in my favorite coffee place at the crack of dawn I slowly settle to still. Before the hustle and bustle of the day I allow myself to take a moment and breathe in gratitude. Some days I still feel myself reeling back to the emotional abyss I thought I would never get out of. Most days the memories of a not so long ago past seem… distant.
What bliss I was in when I fell in love and made plans for the future. Not in a million years did I dream my life would soon fall apart and take me on a path of ultimate discovery. A lot of questions I had about myself, about life, have now been laid to rest through repeat experiments in the name of “live and learn”.
The current version of me is now a lot steadier in my advances, and braver than I’d imagined I could be. I know this to be a good thing because I have never felt more confident in who I am and more sure in my abilities.
Through growing pains and the uncertainties that come with each step, I have learned to fall in love with the journey; for I find it to be the only way. We gain nil when we apologize for who we are: by contrast our lives truly become ours when we start to accept, love and respect ourselves. I know it’s easier said than done but do as we must, for life lessons are just that, lessons we must learn from so we can grow into better versions of ourselves.
For a long time I believed I fought because I want to be the best person I can for my child; the love I have for him demands me to be nothing less. I now understand my love for him adds to the love I have for myself and vice versa.
Like a game of dominos I made the decision to make a series of decisions and I could not be more proud of myself.
